I think loyalty is one of the oldest ethical principles in existence. History is full of tales of treason, but there are not that many about loyalty. That shows that loyalty is the more common of the two and isn’t actually news. In other words, more people are loyal towards each other than are disloyal. Perhaps I should say, rather, that this is how it was in the old days, because I get the feeling that disloyalty is more prevalent in modern times. And it seems to me that it’s not a disgrace anymore either, as it was in the old days.
Rhoda Kadalie wrote this about Van Zyl Slabbert in Die Burger of 15 May 2010: “He gave up his seat in parliament to serve the new order, but was spat out by the Mbeki regime.” To progress from young Afrikaner leader as Head Boy of an Afrikaans school in Pietersburg to a renegade spat out by the ANC is quite a detour to take. I always wonder whether Slabbert could not have played a greater role for our country by rather leading his own Afrikaner compatriots towards a new dispensation, but instead he became leader of his people’s opposition.
During any war loyalty is highly regarded, and those who are disloyal are considered disgraceful, but in times of peace they, like Slabbert, receive acknowledgement in certain circles as being “enlightened and far ahead of their time”. In times of war the traitors and joiners are executed by firing squad, and in times of peace they become honoured leaders of the opposition. What a strange world!
The irony is that even criminals, amongst whom one expects a total decay of ethical values, place a very high premium on loyalty. The famous words of the Mafia’s Godfather are: “Don’t ever take sides with anyone against the family.” And we know what they did with people who turned against the family, because these words spoken by the Godfather were usually also the last words that the disloyal person heard.
I use words such as compatriots and family, but these are not the only places where loyalty is applicable. It’s definitely also valid in the marriage, business and groups that you belong to. Over the years I have often experienced disloyalty, and true to my nature, I always act quickly to eradicate it. During the good years the potential traitors are your best and most loyal friends, but as soon as the bad times comes knocking at the door, they only want to look after themselves. As soon as the good times arrive again, as they always do, they are eager to return – and some people will actually take them back. Never do this! They will betray you again, because that is how they are!
I believe that disloyalty cannot be cured, because it is a character flaw, and character flaws are incurable. Be grateful if you detect it early in your relationship with someone, and rid yourself of someone like this immediately – regardless of whether it’s a spouse, partner, team member, employee or friend.
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